“Again? Are You For Real?”—Lansing’s Pennsylvania Avenue Bridge to Everyone

This is satire and should be treated as such. 

I really thought we had this covered. Seriously, I don't know how you could have missed it.

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You were given sign after sign, yet, you did nothing. You just continued on your trajectory, hell-bent on the course you had set for yourself. But what about me, huh? What about me?

I mean, YOU put me here after all. And I'm literally just doing my job. Sure, you could say that maybe they didn't know better. But how can you say that, when I was perfectly clear...

I'm short!

How Short is the Pennsylvania Avenue Bridge in Lansing?

Haha yeah yeah, I get it... poor, short, little Pennsylvania Avenue Bridge, boo hoo...

I get it, I'm a short king, and maybe that's the case (I am only 12 feet tall). But even if I'm a short king, that shouldn't matter, as long as you know how to read and count... Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em.

There are COUNTLESS signs warning you that you're approaching a shorty, yet, what seems like at least once a week, someone hits me and gets stuck. I've seriously lost count of how many of you fools have dented, pock-marked, and chipped away at my bodacious bod. Obsessed, much?

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How about this... next time you come at me, do it with a little bit more respect. And perhaps a foot shorter vehicle. Because let's face it, I ain't going anywhere!