3 Public Restroom Habits Men Must Break Now

Guys, we need to have a talk.

It's about public restroom etiquette.

I recently went to a concert at Ford Field in Detroit, and it became painfully obvious that some dudes need this primer on appropriate bathroom behavior.

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There are mainly three things that need to be addressed.

Why Handwashing Still Matters

First off, wash your dang hands after taking care of your business. I don't know what it's like in the ladies' room, but real talk - about half of guys in public restrooms do their deed and walk right back out without ever approaching a sink. Gross, right? It's one thing if the restroom's out of soap or paper towels or something - but barring the absence of supplies, there's no excuse for this.

Respect the Urinal Zone

Second, when you're standing at a urinal, it's eyes straight ahead or down. None of this glancing left or right. Mind your own. And keep your mouth shut until sink-time. No one wants to engage in small talk while they're taking a leak.

Phones Don’t Belong in Bathrooms

Finally - and this is a new one that's emerged in the last quarter-century or so - for the love of all that's holy, you don't need your phone in your hand while you're at the urinal! For starters, phones have cameras, and cameras have no business in public restrooms (it doesn't matter whether you have your camera app open or not).

The 20-Second Rule

Multiple studies have shown that the average human urinates for 20 seconds max. Whatever's on your phone can wait until you've washed your hands and get out the door. Seriously.

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Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.