Terrible Dad Jokes Are Always The Best Kind

I am a huge fan of humor. I love to laugh and make other people laugh. It's fun to smile and laugh at some terrible humor. Sometime, somewhere, someone else felt the same so they came up with dad jokes, dad puns and dad one liners.

One thing about dad jokes that drives me crazy is the amount of time I spend trying to figure out what the answer is to the joke. Rarely am I correct, every time I hear an answer I think to myself, "of course it is". The answers are usually pretty obvious.

Here are a couple of classics that I like. How about this one.

What's blue and smells like red paint? The answer is blue paint.

Yeah, it's not awesome but it's one of my favorite dad jokes of all time. That's the kind of joke where I can spend ten minutes trying to figure out the answer and still not get it right. Again, when I heard the answer I said to myself, "of course it is".

Trust me, I've got plenty of dirty jokes to share. I am also a dad and these jokes won't be appropriate for a few years. In the meantime I look forward to hearing dad jokes from friends, or on some occasions from my kids.

What's brown & sticky? The answer is a "stick".

Of course I went down the 8 year old rabbit hole and had some other answers to that joke that were incorrect and disgusting. I found some good dad jokes for you to use at parade.com.

27 Best (Bad) Dad Jokes

Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!

What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.

Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor.

What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest.

What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business.

My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said maybe...

What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.

What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.

Want to know why nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.

What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Ex terminator.

What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas.

My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up.

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.

Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.

What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.

How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.

What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim? Alpha-wet-ical.

Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.

How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.