Stop It. Stop It Right Now.
To Whom It May Concern in the Detroit Tigers Organization:
It was announced yesterday that Doug Fister was traded to the Nationals. Earlier it was announced that Prince Fielder was traded to the Rangers. Please, I beg you, stop trading our players! I'm afraid that on Opening Day 2014, the Detroit Tigers baseball team will resemble the players in the photo above and we won't recognize any of them!
Thanks for your consideration!