These are the facts. Leonardo DiCaprio was kidnapped from the student union of Michigan State University last Monday. According to the Lansing State Journal, the abduction took place at about 5PM. His kidnapper was a white male, between five foot eight and six foot two, in a green hoodie (well, that narrows it down in East Lansing, doesn't it?)

Leonardo DiCaprio is a 41-year old Academy Award-winning actor. He's described as six feet tall, flat and made of cardboard. Because he's a cardboard stand up. (I guess I should've said that first.) The local authorities place his value at $400.

Really? $400? I know he's a national treasure, but.....

If you saw him at that party (I drove by a couple of good ones on Grand River on Thursday night) I suggest you arrange to hand him over. You can even drop him off at WITL anytime. No questions asked.

Here's the full story.

Thanks you. Carry on, citizen.

 

Banana Don and Stephanie McCoy amuse and thrill you every weekday morning from 5:30 – 10AM on the radio at 100.7 WITL.

Banana Don can be reached via email at don.jefferson@townsquaremedia.com and on Twitter at @WITLBananaDon and @WITLFM. Also, Facebook friend Banana Don and Stephanie at Facebook.com/BananaStephanie and Facebook.com/WITLFM.