Michigan State Football Needs to Step Up It’s Dairy Program
Dear Coach Mark Dantonio,
It’s no secret that the success of college football teams is directly related to player recruiting efforts. And, when it comes to recruiting, it’s just been revealed that Michigan’s Coach Harbaugh is a little cagier than we thought.
That’s right. A machine that dispenses chocolate milk 24/7. Right in the Michigan football players lounge. (And why do they need a lounge?) Potential Michigan recruit Aubrey Solomon did an interview with Landof10.com, where he talked about the chocolate milk machine – and then he eliminated Florida and Auburn as potential picks. No free chocolate milk? One can only speculate how this oversight will affect their programs.
This is how I imagine it works: A recruit gets a tour of the university and then they’re brought into the football office to meet with Coach Harbaugh. At that point Coach Harbaugh casually asks, “How ’bout some chocolate milk? In fact, how ’bout all the chocolate milk you could ever drink? For free. You know, Super Bowl MVP Desmond Howard loves the chocolate milk machine. Sign here.”
Does State have a chocolate milk machine? Because you should. In fact, with the dairy technology that exists at Michigan State, they should have the GREATEST chocolate milk machine – OR – even better – a multi-flavored milk shake machine. With a soft-serve ice cream dispenser right next to it.
A statue of the potential recruit made of butter? No – that’s better left to Wisconsin.
Thank you for your time. Love, Banana Don.
Banana Don and Stephanie McCoy amuse and thrill you every weekday morning from 5:30 – 10AM on the radio at 100.7 WITL.
Banana Don can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter at @WITLBananaDon and @WITLFM. Also, Facebook friend Banana Don and Stephanie at Facebook.com/BananaStephanie and Facebook.com/WITLFM.