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Banana Don’s Slice of Americana – Kids, I Believe I May Have Some Answers

It’s almost time. We’re only a few weeks away from Christmas. And, ever since I was a little kid, I’ve wondered how Santa Claus delivers all those toys with such a limited cargo space on-board his sleigh. Even as an adult, I’ve sat in front of my fireplace, with refreshments, for many hours pondering the physics of the situation. Do parents help him sometimes by getting presents in the mail early from Santa, and then placing them around the tree on Christmas Eve? I believe that IS one of his methods. But, I believe he likes to personally visit as many homes and apartments as is possible. This is why the Santa Sleigh has to fly so fast. I believe it’s powered by a technology far too advanced for our understanding. But, that still doesn’t explain how he can get all those presents to so many places, in just one night. My dad was an aerospace engineer (and East Lansing High School grad) who worked with a Top Secret clearance for most of his life. Even he didn’t know how Santa did it. Or, at least, he wasn’t cleared to tell me.

Right before my dad’s retirement. That’s a brand new F-18 right behind us. If he were still here, he’d say, “Go Trojans”, and then he’d calculate the thrust to weight ratio of your 10-speed.

Well, I think I’ve figured it out. I did a little research and found this UFO report from December 24th, 2012. Here’s the link to the report from the National UFO Reporting Center. Don’t worry, it’s legit – read and discuss.

Did you see that? A report from 9:15PM on last Christmas Eve from Sparks, Nevada. Former Naval aviators who’ve “never seen these types of lights associated with aircraft”.  A “red colored object”. Objects rising up to meet the first object – “almost like rockets” – and then it’s gone. Kids, don’t you see? Santa is getting re-supplied along his route by rockets, docking with Santa’s Sleigh, and carrying a payload of CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!

My work is done. And you little kids – don’t screw it up. Stay good for a couple more weeks.

                                                            Nods head approvingly


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