Banana Don’s Slice of Americana – I’ve Got A Bone To Pick
Dear Dog Toy Manufacturers, I'd like to take this opportunity to complain in the strongest possible terms about the durability of your products. My dog Axel likes to chew on things. It's what he does.
Justin Verlander strikes people out.
His ex-girlfriend Kate Upton dances on the internet.
I write blogs all day.
And my dog Axel chews.
My wife and I have purchased many of your products hoping it would keep Axel busy for an extended period of time while we went about our lives.
This has not happened.
Exhibit A: Just this week we bought one of your chew toys for LARGE dogs. The label said it would be "durable". This is a photo of said toy thirty minutes after meeting Axel.
Please note the tiny pieces, which will be what my tibia bone looks like soon, if we don't find a toy that lasts and I fall asleep during another Lions game.
I'd expected more out of you, chew toy companies. You make me and Axel sad. And mad.
Yours Truly, Banana Don Jefferson